My mind has started to slowly turn towards that big,sparkly thing at the end of the year. Xmas.
I wanted to write a little guide for guys buying Xmas underwear for their girls. The whole thing is full of lingerie landmines, potential disappointments and more importantly, fundamentally goes to the heart of the differences between men and women.
But before i launch into the perils of panty-purchasing and the catastrophes of corset-buying, I have been thinking this week about thermal underwear.
WHY?
Because it's so damn cold. Now-I have these thoughts every time the mercury dips below about 8 degrees. I love lingerie and I love keeping warm. So-no difference between me and most girls I've talked to over the years.
But-here's the thing, can you have warm and pretty? Can you have warm and seductive? can you have warm and sexy?
I was having this discussion with the lovely people from Damart, producers of Thermals. They certainly think so. of course, they are all too aware that girls like warmth and pretty lingerie. But it doesn't cut the mustard for me, I think.
Warm tights and layers are still de rigeur in this house - I've got by without it so far. Sorry Damart, but your product line and layout looks a tad old-fashioned. Perhaps you are appealing to a very different market than the one I'm thinking of entering. And we shall leave it there. But what do you think. Thermals are pretty are not? is thermal underwear for your granny or you??
Anyway-on to the main feature. Guys and Xmas lingerie shopping.
Let me count the problems.
Problem Number 1-Wrong Size
Yes-I know you've kept the receipt and i know I am quite capable of taking them back to the shop and exchanging/refunding them myself, but it does rather put a dampener on things. Please, please,please-don't guesstimate.
While your girl is out of the way, have a rummage. It doesn't make you a perv or a fetishist. Find out the following:-
Bra size- Take 3 or 4 bras and check the label for the size. This will be a 2 figured number, followed by a letter (For example, 38D-me, hint, hint). The reason I say take out 3 or 4 bras and not just one, is because there may be a rogue bra (breast size changes over time). Go with the majority.
Knickers/Panties size - Do the same thing here. You are looking for an even-numbered size, such as 12, 14,16, etc or indicated sizing such as Small, medium , etc.
Armed with these vital statistics, you can probably (probably) avoid problem Number 1
Problem Number 2 - What she likes or what you like?
This year, why not consider buying lingerie that makes her heart sing and not lingerie that makes your crotch bulge. There-I said it.
If you are roaming around the lingerie section, in desperate, sweating need of assistance (a la Father Ted), do not pick out the first set that makes you go "phwoooooaaaarrrrr!"
When you looked through her lingerie drawers, what makes featured, what styles, what colours. Use your renowned observational skills to pick something that you will know she will like and not some tawdry scrap of black with something red vaguely sewn onto it (not that I'm wholeheartedly against tawdry scraps I would have you know).
Problem Number 3 - What kind of person is she?
Run for the hills!!!!!Run for your life!!!!! You've just overcome Problems 1 and 2-you've ventured into a warren of silky, lacy things, you're panicking and you just need to grab something and go. Settle down, we understand and so do all the sales staff.
But seriously, lingerie for a girl goes to the very heart of what she feels about femininity, about womanhood, about her identity, prettiness,sexiness, it is, like, maybe a car is to you, an extension of herself.
To overcome this problem, you may have to engage, communicate, listen to her. Find out about her. You never knew it involved so much did you? Lingerie as a means of keeping a relationship healthy and alive. Well-it does!
Don't worry, you will not be alone. if you take care of these 3 problems, you will find something that will make her heart sing and in so doing, might just achieve your original aim accidentally (lol)
Oh-and if you feel you'd like to really wow her, then you probably cannot go worng with ordering online (as long as you've paid attention to the problems above) from the World's sexiest lingerie company-Agent Provocateur (drool). Have a look at the link below and you will both be very happy.
http://www.awin1.com/awclick.php?mid=2747&id=159594
